Everything you never knew you needed to know about food, beverage and lifestyle.
Happy New Year everybody! Hope your decade is off to a great start. Personally, I am hanging on to the edge of my seat. With all the disheartening news about Iran, Australia, and the potential tariff on European fine-dining import, which includes wine, its seems like the decade could have gotten off to a better start. Never mind that though. We can only put our head’s down and go to work, take the good with the bad, make lemonade out of lemons, add vodka to said lemonade, and enjoy whatever comes next. Here’s to a fruitful decade.
One of the most common New Year’s wishes is for sobriety, and Dry January is an attempt for many to remove alcohol from their daily lives, if only to prove that they can do it for a whole month. We here at Blue Lifestyle wholly support those efforts. Even if we are reviewers of spirits, beer, wine, and other alcoholic products, we always embrace responsible drinking practices.
Started as a campaign in Great Britain, Dry January encourages people to lay off the sauce post holidays. Not only does that contribute to various health benefits, but it saves you money and makes it easier to go without alcohol in the months that follow. The trend has gained popularity among US drinkers in recent years.
Of course, when nearly 70% of the US population reports having 2 or more drinks a day, Dry January becomes serious business. Alcoholic beverage companies are following suit, with many releasing non-alcoholic (or close to non-alcoholic) versions of their products for the month. Ethics be damned! There are profits afoot!
Corporate practices aside, we at Blue Lifestyle wish the best of luck to those of you looking to go the whole month (or longer) without a drop. We’ll be ready with some champagne (or apple cider) when you are ready to come back.
I’m usually not one for making bold predictions. I prefer to wait and see. I like being confident in my un-confidence. I have personal goals and such, but I make no big predictions about things like the economy, tectonic plates, or whether or not everyone will be forced to learn binary for our robot overlords. It just seems like a fool’s game. I was thoroughly confused by the last decade, and I expect things to remain more or less the same.
But seeing as this is the start of a decade, and I need content for this blog, I’ll throw my hat into the ring:
- Winemakers will find a way to market smoke damaged wine. Think fire-y taste profiles, ashy terroir authenticity, and at least 5 wineries who “embrace the flames” in their marketing campaigns. The threat of climate change is very real and only seems to be getting worse. Unfortunately, wine-growing regions happen to be in high fire-risk areas. This one is easy.
- Chance of this becoming true: 100%, it’s already happening.
- Arby’s will release a burger and people will lose their collective mind’s over it (a la Popeye’s Fried Chicken Sandwich). Yes, we are really this bored in America.
- Chance of this becoming true: 45% and one Jack-In-The-Box Medium Curly Fry.
- The dairy industry will stabilize, despite the continued growth of alternative milk options. People have already started to re-embrace traditional dairy. It’s hard to cut thousands of years of dietary and culinary history just because you can squeeze some juice out of an oat.
- Chance of this becoming true: 68.3%
- The Great British Baking Show, having exhausted all bakers of medium-talent throughout Britain, will begin re-negotiations with Brussels for reinstatement into the European Union.
- Chance of this becoming true: 2 Boris Johnsons, 1 Paul Hollywood, and a Mary Berry Victoria Sandwich.
Looking for work? Tired of the 9-5 grind? Here’s a chance to live out a childhood dream, to hit the open road, gain new perspectives, and receive intangible benefits, but probably not health care, along the way: you can apply to drive the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile.
Technically a hot-dog mobile, this 18-ton processed meat-machine will surely gain you the admiration and respect of your neighbors. Hired applicants will be given sufficient training in how to handle such a meaty machine. Drivers will also be filled in on Oscar Meyer history, prepped for commercials and public events, and, hopefully, given a hot dog or two along the way. Linguica enthusiasts need not apply.
Robot Cat Waiters
Look at it. Look at the way it’s eyes pivot towards you. Look how you can pet it’s cold steel and plastic ears. It’s so cute I could die. I’m pretty sure any able-bodied person could deliver food faster than these metal felines can, but that’s not the point. The point is this: Robot Cat Waiters. The name tells you everything you need to know. Of course, any cat owner knows that the technology is lacking in its authenticity until the Robot Cat Waiter not only refuses to bring you your food, but also knocks the food onto the floor while staring at you just because, well, it could.
The 20’s are looking better and better by the day.
By Aldo Moreno